You are hereThe final goodbye
The final goodbye
By Dan Fagan
As I write this it is close to midnight on Saturday. I will soon board a plane to New Orleans to say goodbye to my dad.
Doctors gave my dad three weeks to three months to live about five months ago. My dad has always been a fighter, but the signs of his terminal cancer are beginning to show. He gets tired easily and sleeps most of the time. After a five-minute conversation he becomes too weak to talk.
I am not worried about my father. He has prepared himself for eternity with his creator. He has made things right and is ready to go.
I am worried about my mother. This has been tough on her having to wait on my dad just about 24/7 for five months straight. My sisters have helped some but they have their own families to take care of. I hope I can help relieve the burden from my mother just a little during my visit.
I have prepared myself for the reality that my father will be leaving us any day now. Every time my phone rings late in the evening I think this could be it and my heart braces for the worst.
I know my trip home this time will be the last one with my dad. I can’t imagine visiting my childhood home without him there. It’s going to hurt so bad when he is gone.
I hope to make the most of my trip and the time I have left with him. He doesn’t know I am coming and will be surprised when I show up Monday morning. He asked me not to come again because the goodbyes are just too hard for both of us. Maybe I am being selfish in going again. But I know he will be glad to see me.
I’ve told him before but I plan on telling him again and again how much I love him and what a great dad he has been. I don’t want there to be any doubt in his mind how proud of him I am and how much I appreciate him being such a great dad.
The last time I saw my dad, we both thought it would be the last time we would be together. As I was leaving him, tears streaking down both of our faces, after we hugged he said something that has stuck with me since he said it. He said, “Danny, you are the best.” My dad was saying what every son wants to know deep down in their spirit. My dad was telling me, son I am proud of you.
Then as I took one last look at his sweet face as I was about to close the door, my dad said to me at the last second, "Danny go with God."
This time when my dad and I say goodbye it will be at the end of his life. The final goodbye will be sad, emotional, and precious. I will remember it the rest of my life.
God bless you as you honor and serve your parents through this tough time.
Dan:
May the Peace of the Lord be with you and your family.
Dan, I wish you all the best. I've noticed over the years the reverence in your voice when you speak of your parents. It's very impressive and I'm sure your dad and mom are well aware of how important they are to you. We all hope for the same from our children and loved ones. I'll be thinking of and praying for you. Best wishes. Michelle Egan
Dan, I'm sorry to hear about your father's health problems, I wish your family the best, whatever that may be.
I'd like to think that he's been able to benefit from the socialist programs this nation provides for elderly Americans when they get sick, like Social Security and Medicare. They're socialist to the core, but they're good, and their part of the social safety net we should extend to one another. I support those programs and would like to think I've been able to contribute to his comfort and that of your mother.
Godspeed.
Shame on You Shooty for bringing in your politics.
Dan,
Our Prayers are with you - politics aside.
Politics? Hardly.
I simply mean to extend my best to Dan Fagan's father, who I am sure is thankful that Americans like me gladly pay both Social Security and Medicare taxes to help him in his time of need. Even though we must endure criticism as anti-American socialists for doing so.
As a proud American, I am proud to help Mr. Fagan. I happily pay Social Security and Medicare taxes every pay period, in hopes that they'll be put to good use by those that need it. Godspeed.
that was a classless act on your part. Taking political shots at Dan's political beliefs by way of his father's illness is pretty telling of how deep your sincerity goes.
The fact that you focus on how proud you state you are shows where your heart is truly at. It's about you.
I didn't take any shots, you're seeing things. I think Dan Fagan supports Social Security and Medicare, I haven't heard or read him say otherwise. Sure, he rails against the "socialism" boogeyman, but I don't think he's really thinks through everything he says. He's a small-town radio talk show host.
One nice things Americans do for one another is provide each other a social safety net. We even provide it to people who selfishly work to defeat those programs. I guess people can refuse that assistance, but very few do.
None of us is an island, we all rely one one another, whether we recognize it or not. It's good and just that we help each other. I'm glad we're helping the Fagan family, just as I'm certain they're glad to help us when we're in need.
I just thought of something, is Dan's father a veteran? Maybe he also gets benefits through the VA, another socialist organization. Good for him!
I hope these services have provided comfort to Dan and his family in their time of need.
God Bless Your Father and Your Family!
Know that your friends in Alaska will be thinking of you, Dan. Stay strong, and let this serve as a good reminder to all of us how precious the time we have together truly is.
Dan,
It's a blessing to have a Dad that demonstrated patience, pride and love that he has for you. Fear Not- Your Dad will hear 'Come up hither, my good and faithful servant.'
I dont know your Dad but I bet he is a Great guy.
And your Mom, GOD Bless her, she must be a Saint.
Your Dad and Family we be in our Prayers Dan.
I have been in your shoes. My dad passed away of cancer many years ago. But like you, you will be able to comfort him.
Dan I took care of my terminally ill husband, and I cannot begin to explain how exhausting it is. Your dear mother needs you more than ever. She will be relieved to have you there. If she says she is okay and refuses your help, help her anyway. Refusal is a way of coping, but it prolongs the healing process. Your father is in good hands(Jesus). I will pray for you and your family. Take care
So many put it off until it's too late.
I've packed all my candles except for one. I'll light it for your dad tonight.
Be thankful for the time you had and what ever is left.